


Past and Present

by Plantress



Category: Mass Effect
Genre: Awkward Conversations, Drama, F/M, Friendship, Gen, Mass Effect 3, One Shot, Past Relationship(s)
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2012-10-11
Updated: 2012-10-11
Packaged: 2017-11-16 02:02:13
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,587
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/534244
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Plantress/pseuds/Plantress
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Kaidan has returned to the Normandy.  Naturally, the crew is just waiting for a fight between him and Garrus Vakarian.   Garrus decides to disappoint them.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Past and Present

**Author's Note:**

> This is something that I decided to write after dragging Kaidan and Garrus around with me on a mission in ME3. I romanced Kaidan in the first Mass Effect and Garrus after that. You just know the crew would hear about this and decided to blow it all out of proportion. Besides, I like fics where Garrus and Kaidan talk in a civilized manner. Sometimes it just seems really rare.
> 
> Big thanks to my beta Oinkythepiggy

One of the most useful skills Garrus had picked up during his C-sec days was the ability to read the mood of a room the moment he walked into it. He'd always had a feel for it even back when he was in the military, but it was on the Citadel where he had really refined it. That skill had saved his life more than once on Omega. 

Now, that old skill made sure he was aware of the strange feeling in the air on the crew deck as he traced the path from the main battery to the kitchen. He hadn't noticed it when he had first walked down the stairs, but as he rummaged around in the fridge he felt that slight shift. There was a sudden silence, then a flurry of whispers among the few crew members he had seen, and a few accompanying twitters. 

He looked behind him in complete confusion, wondering what could be that amusing. It didn't actually click at first since he hadn't even been thinking about it. Then he realized that Kaidan Alenko just sitting down to his own meal, and everything fell into place. 

"Dear _spirits_ ," he muttered under his breath as he turned back to the preparations for his own, limited meal. He should have been prepared for this. It was _obvious_ and he really should have seen in coming miles away. Gossip ran like wildfire on any ship, and seemed to fester the longer a crew was stuck on board. All it would take was one person learning about Shepard's past relationship with the Major for the speculation to start. Both of them on the same ship with Shepard? Half the crew were probably waiting for the explosion to go off. 

_Wonder if there's a betting pool for it?_ He mused silently as he tried to wrestle the stove into a setting that wouldn't either burn his food or leave it all but raw again. _Ah, who am I kidding? There's probably been one going even before Alenko set food on the ship. ...Wonder what the odds are? Maybe I should ask someone, although it would probably be better that Alenko never find it out. Finding out how far behind he was would probably embarrass the poor guy._

Maybe he would actually seek out someone like Joker to find out how many people were in on this. Just for curiosity's sake of course. It wasn't like there was ever going to be a resolution to that bet. He supposed he couldn't blame the crew for thinking it though. Not when even Shepard herself seemed had worried over it. 

She'd found him shortly after they had finished restocking on the Citadel, when he'd been contemplating the newest name that had been added to the memorial wall. Maybe he and Thane hadn't been that close, but a sacrifice like that was worth respect.

When Shepard first came up beside him, he thought that she was there to pay her own respects. Then she cleared her throat and glanced at him out of the corner of her eye. That was more than enough for him to know she had something else on her mind.

" _Kaidan's back on board,_ " she had said slowly, as if she wasn't sure what his reaction was gong to be. 

He had just shrugged. _"I heard Joker say something like that,"_ had been his verbal reply. Garrus hadn't mentioned that the pilot had seemed to come looking for him just to give him that information. Joker had seemed disappointed at the lack of reaction to his news. 

_"It's a good thing. It's always nice to have another friendly gun,"_ then he paused. _"Just, as long as he is friendly now. No more point-the-gun-at-the-commander I hope."_

That had gotten a strained chuckled out of her. _"No, no more of that,"_ she'd hesitated for a second. _"So you're going to be okay with it, then?"_

He might have had a fairly good idea _why_ she was asking him that, but he decided to play dumb for the moment. _"Why wouldn't I be?"_

Shepard gave a snort that clearly said she wasn't buying his 'innocence'. _"You know about what happened between Kaidan and me,"_ it was a statement, nothing more. _"I just want to make sure there aren't going to be any problems between the two of you."_

He had chuckled in response. _"Do you really have so little faith in me? I'm almost hurt, Shepard."_ She didn't look convinced. Garrus remembered wondering if things were really so different on human ships. It wasn't unusual to find yourself in a situation like this on a turian ship. You were just expected to be professional about it and not let it get in the way of your duties. _"I promise not to do anything to Alenko. I know the two of you shared a past but that honestly doesn't matter to me."_ And it really didn't. 

_"So...not jealous or anything?"_ She had looked closely at him, some of the tension leaking out of her.

_"Jealousy, me? Of course not,"_ he had snorted. _"Unless...I have a reason to be jealous?"_

She had laughed, one of the few honest laughs he had gotten out of her since the war had started. _"God no,"_ she had said. _"What happened between me and Kaidan is in the past. It was nice, but this.."_ Shepard reached out and took his hand after glancing around to make sure there was no one around them at that exact moment. It was one of the few affectionate gestures they indulged in public. _"This is something that's more than nice. I'm not going to give it up, not ever."_ He could still remember the flutter of emotion that those simple words had caused. He had leaned down, brushing his forehead across hers and not caring who saw. 

_"Then I think I'm not the one you have to worry about being jealous."_

The memory made him smile, but Garrus knew even if he didn't cause any trouble the rumors would cause trouble on their own. _Some of it is my fault, I guess,_ he thought as he finished doing what he could with the pitiful dextro supplies they had on the Normandy (It didn't help that he had never been much of a cook either). He hadn't exactly _talked_ with Kaidan since he had come aboard, which from the outside might make it look like he had been avoiding the biotic. That wasn't really the truth. Garrus just hadn't actively sought him out, and their duties kept them in separate parts of the ship. It wasn't that much different from their relationship on the SR-1 really, but there was an added weight to it now.   
More a reason not to avoid things he supposed. He grabbed a tray and sat down across from Kaidan. 

"Garrus, hey." Kaidan looked a bit startled. 

"Kaidan," Garrus took a bite before continuing. "Although I heard from Shepard it should be 'Major' now. Congratulations." 

"Uh, thanks," Kaidan relaxed a little, although he still didn't look as if he understood by Garrus was here. "I heard you were doing pretty well yourself. Something about serving as advisor to the Primarch...?" 

That was an unwelcome reminder of the new direction his duties had taken recently. Dealing with a task force? Yeah, he had wanted that. He hadn't expected to have the military leaders of Palaven listening to him. He wasn't even sure he was up to the task. But that didn't matter at the moment. 

"Something like that," he admitted. "The official title is 'Expert Reaper Advisor'. Sounds really impressive when you say it out loud, but it's not. Not exactly easy to advise people about what to do against reapers. The choices tend to be 'run or die'. " 

"Still, it's more than impressive," Kaidan relaxed slightly. "I mean both the advisor part, because that is _really_ good, and the fact that having an expert for them means they believed _something_ about the Reapers."

"Not at first, they didn't," Garrus admitted, "but keep yelling long enough and someone will listen. Well, and having a father who's friends with the Primarch might have helped just a little."

"No matter how you did it, you got them to listen," that brought a sigh from the biotic. "That's more than anyone managed to get through the Alliance." There was a bitter tinge to the words. Garrus couldn't really blame him. No matter what angry words Kaidan had exchanged with Shepard, Garrus was sure that the biotic had been convinced that Reapers were real. 

"I'm not sure how much good that would have done," Garrus shrugged a little. "Even if you know they're coming, Reapers aren't exactly easy to prepare for." 

"Yeah, but still...I would have felt better if I'd thought I had done _something_ to help."

Garrus didn't have an answer to that, and just decided concentrating on his food would be best. They ate in silence for a while before he noticed Kaidan looking around. 

"I think most of the vultures have left," the biotic said. 

"I have no idea what a vulture is, but if you mean the crew that was just waiting for me to slam your head into the table...yeah I think they left." Garrus took a moment to look around himself. Yep, down to only a couple of crew members who looked like they were here to actually eat, not gawk. Everyone else must have remembered they had duties to attend to now that there wasn't entertainment incoming. 

"Ah..yeah, them," Kaidan looked slightly uncomfortable. "...You wouldn't really have done that, would you?" 

Garrus chuckled. "Nah, not really my style. Besides, Shepard brought you on board for a reason. We need all the help we can get with this. You're a good soldier, and you're loyal. Shepard trusts you too, and that's not a small thing." 

The biotic looked surprised. "Thanks. That's really nice to hear, actually. I wasn't sure what you would do with me being here."

"You know, I'm almost tempted to be insulted that everyone thinks I'm that petty," Garrus took a determined bite of his meal. "Has anyone thought about what Shepard would do to _me_ , or hell, to both of us, if we started a fight over her?" He gave a pointed shudder. 

Kaidan froze and his eyes went wide. "...Hadn't thought about that. I would almost be tempted to go find a reaper. Facing one seems like it would be a bit safer than the Commander." 

"Exactly," Garrus agreed, holding back saying the first several things that came to mind. He wasn't here to pour salt into wounds that were probably still fresh for Kaidan. After all, an angry Shepard was a scary thought. An angry Shepard that you happened to be sleeping with just seemed slightly worse in his mind. "So playing nice helps everyone. You're happy, she's happy, and I'm happy. Don't see why I should change that." That was all he had meant to say, really, honestly. But somehow he found himself falling back into the bad habit of speaking his mind without thinking about it.   
"Although if I had seen you right after Horizon, I probably would have tried to break your jaw no matter what Shepard thought of it." Damn. Not that he was ashamed of his feelings, or the truth behind them, but he really thought he was over it. Apparently not. 

Kaidan winced a little and looked down. "I would have probably let you do it," he said quietly. "I deserved it. That was not a good moment for me. Even just as a friend, I messed up pretty badly." 

"Yeah, you did. I was there, remember." Garrus said quietly and tried to concentrate on eating. As much as he was itching to say more, he wouldn't. That was Shepard's business, and if she wanted to talk to Kaidan about it then it was her choice. Still, he couldn't help remembering the look on her face after Horizon and the way she had acted when they had finally gotten back on the ship. That moment was stuck in his mind. It was right then that it had hit him, even through his own anger, how it must have felt to her. They had all been mourning her and moving on, but to her no time had passed. She woke up to everything changed and all the people she had known weren't what she remembered. That was when he had sworn to himself that he was not going to leave her side. She had risked everything to help him. The least he could do was make sure she always had a friend with her. 

_Ended up being a bit more than just a friend I guess,_ he thought with a smirk, _not that I'm complaining. Not. At. All._

"Hey.." Kaidan cut short his happy thoughts.

"Hmm?" 

"Can I ask you a question?" The biotic had paused and was looking at him slightly nervous. 

"Ah, sure, go ahead." 

Kaidan opened his mouth, seemed to consider something, then closed it and tried again. "What was it like for you when Shepard came back? I mean when you first saw her again. Did you really believe it was her right away? Or wonder why she was with Cerberus?" The biotic was looking at him with a strange expression on his face. Half hopeful, half curious. As if somehow he was going to get an answer to _something._

Garrus took a minute to think over his answer. "Well, my first thought was something along the lines of 'Only Shepard could get bored with death and decide to come back'." He didn't mention the way he had felt something lurch deep in his chest. If he hadn't been in the middle of that call with his father he might have actually laughed. A little hysterically maybe but still laughed at the sheer craziness of the situation. The memory made him chuckle a little now. "Of course the sheer emotional and physical exhaustion from a days-long firefight probably had something to do with how easy it was to believe it was her. I don't think I had enough energy to left to disbelieve or be shocked about anything at that point. Besides, I was a little too busy trying not to die to really be questioning any sort of help, even the you-should-be-dead variety." 

Even he had to admit it was a bit odd how easy it had been to accept that it was Shepard, back in the flesh so to speak. Normally he would have been more suspicious of something that should have been too good to be true. The person you had spent two years mourning coming back to you? That was something right out of fairy tales, or legends. Not something that came strolling up to you on a crime-ridden rock. But in some strange way he had been certain it was her. It had just seemed _right_ that she was there.

"...Days-long firefight?" Kaidan looked at him oddly. "Do I want to know what that was about?"   
Garrus couldn't help smirking a little. "Heard the name Archangel before?" 

"A mention or two here and there, yeah." 

"Then you know how much trouble he caused on Omega. And well, let's just say the merc groups don't take kindly to that. Then I underestimated how much they hated me. I might have been able to hold off one or two of them, but all three joining forces just for little old me? I was almost flattered." 

"You know, I'm not sure what to say to that," Kaidan said slowly. "No offense, but doing something like that...I don't know if I want to call it brave or really insane." 

Garrus just grinned lazily. "I can safely say that it's both." He grew more sober then, remembering the resignation that had took him, then the fierce determination to take as many of the mercs down with him as he could, to leave a legacy that would be remembered on Omega. "If Shepard hadn't showed up, I'm not sure how much longer I would have lasted." 

"So she showed up just in time," Kaidan sounded more like he was speaking to himself than the turian across from him. Then he looked up. "She kind of makes a habit of that, doesn't she? Showing up to save the day." 

"You have to admit she has a talent for it," Garrus pointed out. "Think she's famous for it by now. Lots of people expecting her to do it again and again." 

"Yeah," Kaidan fiddled with the rapidly cooling food on his plate. "I get that. Just...you really didn't care that she showed up with Cerberus? At all?" 

"I wasn't exactly in a position to be picky about backup," Garrus felt the need to point out. "And after that well..," he tapped the scarred side of his face. "Wasn't exactly in a position to be protesting when they dragged me back on the Normandy. After I was on my feet again, I did talk to Shepard about it. She made it pretty clear why she was working with them, and that she wanted someone she trusted there to watch her back. I trusted her judgment, always have, and it's not like I could leave her alone with an organization that could turn it's back on her in half a second. ." He shrugged. "Besides, having the Collectors running around really wasn't good for the galaxy."

Kaidan flinched a little. Garrus knew his words had cut a little, but he honestly didn't care. There was a part of him that still hadn't fully forgiven the biotic for not listening to Shepard. More than anyone else, Kaidan should have known that Shepard would never have willingly agreed to work with Cerberus. He still couldn't imagine how Kaidan had been able to so easily convince himself that he had been betrayed even after going through the entire Saren chase with Shepard. Stubborn and willful blindness should have limits. 

"So you never doubted her?" 

"Never. Maybe she makes a bad call once in awhile, but when everything is going to hell she's the one person you know you can count on to see things through," he poked at his own meal. "Of course, that's why she needs someone to watch her six. You know how she throws herself into things and doesn't think of the consequences. That's why I'm here. I'll make sure someone is watching out for her, and make sure she can focus on the important things." 

Kaidan was silent, and seemed to be considering something for a moment. "Right before I came back on board I asked Shepard if she would have shot me back there, during the attack. She said she wouldn't, and honestly, I really believe her with that. But when I think about it, I remember that she wasn't the only one with a gun pointed at me." There was a question in the biotic's eyes, and Garrus had a feeling he knew what it was. 

"If I had thought for a second that you were really a danger to her we wouldn't be having this conversation right now. Or ever really. Kind of hard to talk through a hole in the head." 

Garrus had to give Kaidan credit for not even being surprised by that statement. Most people would have at least been a little shocked about sitting across from someone who had admitted to thinking about killing them. "What made you so sure I wasn't going to pull the trigger on her?" The biotic's voice was quiet as he looked up at meet Garrus' eyes. 

"Easy. I could tell that you didn't want to. It was in your eyes," Garrus answered without hesitation. "Some part of you knew enough to listen to her, and that part believed in her enough to stand down. Shepard couldn't have pulled the trigger on you, and I don't think you were capable of pulling the trigger on her." 

"I should have trusted her about it from the beginning," the biotic was still just poking at his meal. "I keep thinking about what would have happened if I had hesitated a moment longer and..."

"You didn't, so let's not worry about that anymore," Garrus cut him off. "We've got alien robot death machines trying to kill everyone in the galaxy right now. Let's focus on the bad things that might be happening in the future, not the ones in the past, all right?" 

"Heh," that got a chuckle out of Kaidan, "you've got a point. Kind of a dark point though." 

 

"Well, you know me, all sunshine and flowers unless the galaxy is in danger."   
That brought a snort out of the biotic, and then both of them fell into a silence as they tried to eat. After a while, Kaidan apparently decided to give up on whatever-it-was on his plate and stood up. 

"Hey, um, Garrus?" 

"Hmm?" 

Kaidan fidgeted with his tray. "I'm glad Shepard has someone like you there with her, to watch her back. She needs it, even if she doesn't realize it. She's important, not just to us but to well...everything." 

"I know," Garrus looked up at him. 

Kaidan hesitated. "And she seems happy when she's around you. She deserves that. So just...look after her, all right?" 

"I would have done that anyway," Garrus couldn't help saying. "But, I get what you mean. I'll do what I can for her." 

"..Thanks," Kaidan said quietly before heading over toward the kitchen. Garrus watched him for a moment before turning back to his own food. He and Kaidan Alenko had never been close friends. They might never be. But, there was a lot of good in the biotic. After all, Shepard had seen something in him. To Garrus, that meant something. 

OoOoOo

_Paperwork is one of the things I hate most,_ Shepard thought as she rolled her neck and stepped off the elevator onto the crew deck. _Well, next to Reapers, Cerberus, Udina..._   
She had been trapped in her cabin putting together a report for Council for the last couple of hours. Now, with that out of the way, she was finally free to get something to eat. Her stomach felt like it was sticking to her backbone. 

"...nothing more than a friendly wager. I won fair and square," she heard Dr. Chakwas saying as she rounded the elevator. 

"Still say it was an unfair advantage," James was rumbling half heartedly from his seat at the table in front of Chakwas. Neither of them seemed to notice their approaching Commander although EDI, standing behind James, gave her a glance.

_Sloppy, not even noticing someone else in the room_ , Shepard thought in amusement before speaking out loud. "Do I even want to know what you were betting on?" 

Both of them started. Chakwas' eyes went wide for a moment. "Commander," she said with a sharper formality than usual. _Okay, slightly weird.._.

"H..hey, Lola," James stammered, eyes darting around. "It was um...nothing?" 

Shepard had been in command of people too long to have even a chance of being fooled by something like that. James didn't lie very well. Probably part of the reason why he failed at poker so often. 

"Uh-huh." She crossed her arms. "What's really going on here?" 

Dr. Chakwas cleared her throat. "Well, you see...." she trailed off, looking as if she was trying to avoid speaking. 

"We were discussing the outcome over the recent bets among the crew," EDI chimed in before anyone else could speak. "It was concerning whether Officer Vakarian or Major Alenko would win in a fight over your affections." 

Shepard felt her mind go blank. She had known on some level that the crew was bound to discuss her personal life with both Garrus and Kaidan on board. It hadn't occurred to her that they would go this far. "What," was the first word she could finally force out. "What, the hell? Seriously? You were _betting_ on something like that?" She rubbed her forehead. "I would ask why, but that would just be a rhetorical question." 

Dr. Chakwas had gone from slightly alarmed to seemingly amused about it. Shepard was slightly annoyed by that, although at least James seemed to be properly apologetic. He was re-tying his shoes in an attempt not to look at her. 

Then suddenly the annoyance took a swift dive into a knot of twisting worry as she glanced at the doctor. Dr. Chakwas had said she had won. Which meant the bet was over. "Hey, Chakwas....who exactly did you bet on?" 

She had tried to keep the worry out of her voice, but something must have shown on her face because Dr. Chakwas' expression went from amused to something softer as she leaned forward. "Don't worry Commander. I believe I was the only one on this entire ship that bet they would behave like civilized species and not like cavemen." 

Shepard felt a rush of relief go through her. Okay, now that she thought about it, she should have realized that neither Kaidan or Garrus were that stupid. Besides, she would have known if there had been a fight on her ship. EDI would have informed her of it, or she would have heard it. A fight between a turian and a biotic wasn't going be something quiet. Not to mention Chakwas wouldn't have been this calm about something that would have left at least two people injured. 

"I still say it's an unfair advantage," James grumbled as he gave up on his embarrassed pretext and straightened up. "You've known them longer than almost anyone. How were we supposed to know everything about them? The Major hasn't even been here that long!"

"It's hardly my fault you didn't pay attention," Dr. Chakwas leaned back in her chair, smirking slightly. "Lieutenant, if every person who has known the Major and Garrus since the first Normandy has chosen to either stay out of the betting pool or bet against anything happening then that should say something." 

"But I thought Scars would do something! Aren't turians supposed to be....what was it...territorial about stuff?" 

"That has nothing to do with relationships, Vega," Shepard rubbed her forehead and decided to focus on what Chakwas had said instead. "So, there were a few people who actually decided to stay out of this mess?" 

"Yes," EDI answered instead. "Dr. T'soni declined to take part, as did Lieutenant Cortez."   
"I tried to get Esteban in on it, but he kept shooting me down whenever I tried," James grumbled. "He said if he ever placed a bet, it would be on you Lola. Kept saying you would kick Scars' and the Major's asses if they tried anything."

"So I have a grand total of three sensible or semi-sensible people on my ship. That is not reassuring," Shepard shook her head. "Okay, I am going to officially ignore this, and pretend it never happened. But, from now on, no more betting on my personal life. That clear?"

"Crystal, Commander." 

"Don't worry Lola, I learned my lesson. Don't have anymore money to lose anyway."

EDI had been glancing back and forth between them as they spoke. She finally turned her gaze back on Shepard. "Commander, does this mean I should inform the crew to stop the betting on whether you are involved in a threesome or not?"

"...Wait. What?"


End file.
